My voice

“I’m alive today because I was my own support.” -Me

There are a few things that helped me survive the years of abuse, the cult and the arranged marriage…not one of them are material possessions.

1. My imagination. I have the most vivid imagination and it saved me from the moments where life became to difficult to bare. I became a secret agent living in the Middle East. Or a navy seal being torture for a greater cause then me. It helped me endure every beating, every mind game. It even helped me protect my mind.

2. My heart. I loved myself enough to want more for myself. I loved those around me enough to know that they needed something better.

3. My mind. Like number one it did save me. But the part of my brain I protected is what I’m referring to. I protected the part of my mind that housed my voice. No not like a crazy voice. But rather the voice of my heart, mind and soul. The voice that was able to tell me within me what I needed to do.

Sounds crazy right. Like a voice telling you what to do. But this wasn’t just any voice it was my very own voice. While my thoughts ran and my heart pounded through my chest all those years my voice was in there looking for away out.

Today I sit here mostly proud it feels bitersweet. I have already fought not one monster not two monsters but three very different and tough boss fight monsters that almost resulted in the death of my beautiful strong voice. But yet I survived and now I’m thriving. Some days I wake and my mind hurts but most days I wake up thrilled to be alive.

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